Hope you realize there’s a big difference between “can carry nukes” and “actually is carrying nukes”.

Correct. The missiles were not actually carrying nukes, but they were capable of carrying nukes. North Korea fired missiles that were capable of carrying nukes in response to the US flying bombers capable of carrying nukes along their border to express "If you nuke us, we can at least do some damage"; mutually assured destruction.

Besides, when the North has a military over twice the size of the south and is constantly saber rattling

The North is not just up against the South, but against the entire US military.

Wonder why they are spending so much on their military and not on, you know, their citizens.

Because if they didn't, the US would make an example out of them the way they did Iraq and Afghanistan and Syria and Libya and Yugoslavia.