These people are insane, but I love the inclusion of lines like this:

The police officer [sic] hands were shaking as they gave me a ticket

As though the cop was terrified that this guy was so close to figuring out the secret words that would force him to let him go. Like the cop's gonna get back to the station and go "fuck, we nearly had another one break the binding wards"

I've seen others where they talk about the fear or nervousness in the county clerk's eyes or whatever. Dude, they're not scared. They think you're a fucking lunatic. That's what that expression is.