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this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2024
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Bipolar Disorder
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Not having a rough time this week, which is great. Meds are working as they should. And a certain family member who has been causing trouble will be moving out soon, which is a relief to everyone. Plus, it means I won't have to sleep on the covered porch over Winter.
More in depth: when I and another family member moved in, it became clear something was going to have to give, but it didn't have to result in the another one moving out. Nevertheless, I feel bad about him moving just because we are here. But the dude hasn't been doing anything to help, borrows money and doesn't pay it back, promises to pay rent but doesn't, verbally assaults people, and... I'm not going into everything. At any rate, we didn't push him to move out, but he is anyway. There was going to be hard feelings no matter what :/
How's it going for you?
That does make it hard when it’s a family member too. :/
Is t it nice when the meds work??? lol
My week is starting off weird. I am sleeping well AND still feeling exhausted. I took off work yesterday because I needed a mental health day and now that I am back today I wish I had more time. I’m struggling to not go off on my boss. 😭
Yeah, it's nice that the meds are working... a little too well sometimes. Idk if you've ever been on quetiapine, but getting up in the middle of the night is quite the experience. (I need to go easy on the water and tea before bed, haha.)
Are you sure you're sleeping well? Are you hitting the REM stage regularly? Back when I was using cannabis I seemed to be getting enough sleep, but was dreaming less. I always felt tired. Booze also affected my sleep, but it was more obvious.
Definitely avoid blowing up at work if you can. Not sure if your boss is the issue, or if it's just having ro spend too much time working, but there's probably a better way to let your boss know if they've crossed a line (I believe everyone should draw clear lines if possible, since abuse of authority seems rampant in all sectors).
Seroquel!!! Ever since I started taking geodon, seroquel no longer sedates me… nor do any anitihistamines or depakote or zyprexa. Weird.
What HAS been working the last two days is four Olly Sleep gummies, two Olly Rest pills and four GABA pills. I know that sounds crazy. It’s the only thing keeping me asleep longer than four hours. But yeah the dragging sucks. I haven’t found a sweet spot yet. Ambien isn’t keeping me asleep so I quit that. I would wake up after four hours, want a soda and drive to the gas station technically still under the influence.
Yikes, people hallucinate on Ambien if they stay up after dosing, or when taking too much. It would seem you did not, though.
Strange that Geodon cancels the sedative effects of those other drugs. I looked it up and it blocks serotonin and dopamine. I wonder if it somehow prevents the natural production of melatonin?
It's good that you've found a way to stay asleep. I've used melatonin supplements too, but there is some concern about the body potentially getting too lazy to produce its own when getting it from an outside source. I still don't know what the verdict on that is.
I’ve read that about the melatonin as well. I can’t find anything online from others with that weird sedation conflict. Also, I take lamictal to counteract the TD geodon has given me, and it’s supposed to also ward off manic episodes. Well they increased mine earlier this year and guess what, I went hypo manic for months. Every month I checked in saying I was worse and they would bump it up again. I kept asking for more geodon. Finally after 4 months she agreed and I came down. Last month she let me bring the lamicatal. Never again. It was the first time I ever got so mouthy and bold at work that I was teetering on getting fired. I’m almost 50, for perspective.
Huh, I was on Lamictal and it didn't make me manic. It was working pretty well but I had missed a few doses once, and when I started taking it again I didn't taper up like you should. Well, I ended up getting a nasty rash on my hands, fingers, legs and feet. I stopped taking it immediately once I realized what was doing it. It might not have been The Rash, but my psych didn't want to risk me rechallenging the drug.
You're probably lucky not to have gotten fired over your behavior. Is your boss an understanding person?
My main problem when working was the anxiety and paranoid thoughts about the people around me. Neverending mental noise made it nearly impossible to keep my cool. Plus, low/high energy, of course.
I'm nearing the half century mark myself, though probably a couple years behind you. I look at my unmedicated self sometimes and cringe and shake my head in shame. (I did what at my age?) But life moves forward, so no use dwelling on things I can't change. Just focusing on making better choices (: