this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2024
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If I'm autistic and want to find a romantic partner that I can connect with on that level, is that fetishizing?
Well, I didn't find a real, good definition of 'fetishizing' but, if we agree on the one I'll provide below, you should be able to answer for yourself in this and future cases.^1
Autism is weird for this definition because, while it is an inherent facet of a person, it does have a large effect on how a person grows up. This obviously shapes their character.
As an experiment, take your hypothetical dream person. A second party is a necessity for mental grounding. If you can find another person to assist, have them swap out character traits (social, personal, mental, etc.) until you find a point you'd no longer find the hypothetical dream person appealing.
Anyway, hope you can do some self-study and find that answer.
^1 If you don't agree, then we're piss outta luck and I'm gonna leave.
Going with that definition, I don't fetishize autistic women because my perception of a women's sexiness is not affected by neurotype. It's the relationship and connection that I would value with an autistic woman over others.