I've been on slow-release methylphenidate for a while but am starting to question whether it's right for me.
The positive effects became apparent very quickly: It helps me getting started with things and finishing them, as well as being more aware of what needs to be done (i.e. taking out the trash). Instead of making me wanting to put chores and errands off it makes me almost eager for tasks and responsibilities, I suddenly want to get things done and be more reliable than I usually am.
So far so good. But I have also noticed that it sort of "untangles" my emotions in general. It makes me feel more "emotionally confident" as in: Instead of ignoring things that I need to work on regarding my mental or emotional state I'm able to perceive / feel more clearly how I feel and it also makes me less reluctant to tackle more difficult emotional matters.
Sometimes it feels like a light is being switched on inside of me and I feel like I can suddenly be or become more easily the best possible version of myself.
Which sounds great but I've also noticed that it makes me want to take my meds more often than I should. I'm on 2x20mg atm but I've noticed that I'm starting to develop a craving for my meds because of the good feeling they give me.
This makes me worry if these meds are really a good idea for me or if I should switch to something else. Has anyone else had similar experiences?