CricketyRicket

joined 1 week ago
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I feel like an undateable bingo card, and I hate myself (and the world) for it in c/goodoffmychest@lemmy.world
[–] CricketyRicket@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Lol, I do not have any of those in my bio.

I have them as badges/pillboxes/filters (I seriously cannot remember what they're called, been a while since I last did web dev). So, it just shows "Vegan" in interests, and "Don't have kids" and "Don't want kids" in the filter boxes (basically the info that Bumble asks you to enter when you are creating your account; these are removable though).

So, I do not explicitly write anywhere that I am "antinatalist". I know that it is perceived negatively, and I'd rather just be perceived as "childfree" via the "Don't want kids" tag.

I feel like an undateable bingo card, and I hate myself (and the world) for it in c/goodoffmychest@lemmy.world
[–] CricketyRicket@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Thanks for the advice.

I am aware of how fucked up the dating apps are, and I hate them with a passion. Every single app is owned by the same company, and if you get banned on one, you get banned on them all.

I am very concerned about compatibility if the expected values do not align, so I am very much opposed to concealing my faults. I am not very worried about me not showing my true self (I am sure I will), I am worried that I won't even find any.

Thank you for the optimism and kind words though!

I feel like an undateable bingo card, and I hate myself (and the world) for it in c/goodoffmychest@lemmy.world
[–] CricketyRicket@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Not there (un)fortunately, but honestly, I'd shit scared of being seen in a protest, me being a (legal) immigrant.

I feel like an undateable bingo card, and I hate myself (and the world) for it in c/goodoffmychest@lemmy.world
[–] CricketyRicket@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Thanks for the suggestion. I put all that info in because I thought it would get me better quality matches (but now I suspect it may be hurting the score instead).

Regarding the "Oppsites can attract and compliment.", I would agree with this for personality traits like introversion/extraversion, but I highly doubt compatibility in opposites for the ones I described (e.g. having children). May be you just meant something entirely different, and I just misunderstood this part.

I feel like an undateable bingo card, and I hate myself (and the world) for it in c/goodoffmychest@lemmy.world
[–] CricketyRicket@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (6 children)

Because I did not want to mislead them. I thought being frank would get me better quality matches, who are more aligned with me. But, to be honest, I don't really know what the best thing to do is given the algorithm is proprietary. May be I should just remove them in just for better scores, and then handle it in the chat if I get a match.

7
I feel like an undateable bingo card, and I hate myself (and the world) for it (lemmy.world)
 

I am a guy who moved to a western country a few years ago. I am a vegan, atheist, antinatalist on top of already being an introvert, a privacy enthusiast, and a person from the other end of the world.

I find it extremely hard to find anyone. I literally haven't been on any dates in, like, 6 years now. I have zero success on dating sites because:

  1. Most of my values are so extreme to people that they would not want to swipe right on me
  2. This seems to reinforce the algorithms on the sites, and they score me further lower. When requested data from Bumble, I found out that I swipe right on ~3% on the profiles, Bumble only shows my profile to what amounts to 30% of that 3%, and I am swiped right by only ~1.5% of that.
  3. I have been blocked a few times before because of stupid stuff like absence of Google Play Services, phone numbers from a different country, etc., which I believe further lowers my score. Also, I do not verify myself, so yay.

(In my opinion, I am an average looking guy, and my photos are okay, so I do not think the photos are the problem)

Between work, a couple of hobbies, gym and recovering from work, I get no time to meet with people in person. Even if I wanted to, there aren't many common places to meet with new people. I miss when we were young, and could casually make friends in school without even trying.

Some days, I just want to remove all those "filters", but then I cannot explain the removal logically/philosophically. I wish I could have lived my life in blissful ignorance of everything.

May be I am doing adulting and everything related horribly wrong. But regardless, I just wanted to vent and get it out.

Note: I know that there are people who do not agree with my values. I would be happy to discuss them (not sure if this thread is appropriate for that though), but I would appreciate if you would not outright dismiss them.