CookedOmelet

Kind of mid.

My mood is back to normal-ish since my high last week. Back to fighting low key self-doubt. Got some appointments soon hopefully to get things really started.

Trying to think of how to come out to my irl/online friends and failing to make the leap of faith. Although I found a girl name I like and I'm trying it out in a few places.

I'm not an expert but I have some experience now, from learning as a total beginner for about a year.

Nail polish that comes with a good brush helps a decent amount, I really like the ones from ILNP.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes and start over, you can use a fine tipped dry brush or just paper towel+acetone to fix mistakes. A toothpick or a small wooden dowel can be used to cleanup the edges. Practice practice practice.

And yeah like others have said, it's better to apply to 2 coats of color, and then maybe a top clear coat.

Hi, congrats!

I find every little bit of self affirmation helps, start small, go at your own pace.

You got this ♡

All the time. So then I overshare and explain the reference entirely...

Thanks. Yea I'm doing ok atm, it's just a constant nagging that won't go away

I'm fighting it with logic and FAX. Eventually my emotions will get it

Similarly, as a new trans-femme I can get this app to show >90% female, and 5% male, just by pitching higher, but my voice clearly just sounds like a softer/lighter masc voice. My base voice isn't that deep, but it is very raspy and clumsy, so I've been struggling too.

@Courtney You got this, just follow the usual guides on resonance and fullness, I only just started recently, but I can tell the resonance stuff helps, and I'm moving in the right direction. Here are the two guides I've been following, if it helps.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1j_-8dndFzKTX0xBSF15ZEJWdw958ryh0IPKq1sz8p04/edit?tab=t.0

https://old.reddit.com/r/transvoice/comments/d3clhe/ls_voice_training_guide_level_1_for_mtf/

One thing that really gave me hope is this clip from the first guide: https://clyp.it/xavctl0s

And here's the frequency difference of the above clip, showing before and after, NOT my voice FYI:

Since I came out to myself (and a few others), it's been a mixed bag, leaning towards better than not.

I ugly cried twice, maybe for the first times in my life, first while rewatching GitS SAC, ep2. That might have been the most obvious trans allegory that totally flew by me when I first watched it in childhood. Then I cried just as hard when I started playing Celeste yesterday, when right at the beginning, the dialog from level 1 said something like "just breathe, you got this" (also I suck at platformers).

I was able to talk to one cis-female friend over online DMs about it. I had met her irl once, and she's super nice and supportive. I'm looking forward to bonding with her more over girly things :3

Weight loss has somehow become effortless for me. I had been struggling with my mental health for about a year, thinking it was just ADHD, and coping with food sometimes. But now it's all super lucid and I don't feel the urge to just eat when I'm bored.

Voice training sucks. Picking a new name is hard.

Occasionally I have doubts since my guy brain is still dominant. I wrote down all the really obvious reasons to myself as notes, and that helps a bit. It's just one of those things where intellectually I know I must be trans, but emotionally I'm not really there yet.

I have my first appointment at a local clinic at the end of this upcoming week, and I'm really excited.

You sound amazing!

This is so cuuuuute

Everyone's been so supportive, thanks T_T, my thoughts have been a hot mess, just a mix of anxiety and happiness, with moments of lucidity.

♡