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submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by LiberalSocialist@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net

It's not illegal, but it's still weird, creepy and potentially harmful and no amount of lambasting about "the problematic age gap discourse" will make it not true.

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[-] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago

If a 24yo and a 18yo meet and become friends, and then start dating a few years later, is this also weird and creepy?

Asking for a friend.

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[-] wackywayneridesagain@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago

:shrug-outta-hecks:

I could believe a lot of such relationships aren't for the best, but I was dating 17 years my senior @ 18 and 31 years my senior @ 28. With that background, I'm fine with it personally.

[-] 4zi@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

When I was 18 and in college I dated a 33 year old. I was fully aware of what I was doing and of the age gap. Don’t really see what’s so problematic about it

[-] LiberalSocialist@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago

The problems not with you but with the older person who, it seems, would date a 15 yo if they could.

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[-] Zodiark@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago

I agree with your premise and wouldn't personally do it. However, I don't think these situations are quite as taboo or quasi-pedophlic as you categorize them to be. It is acceptable depending on the context of that relationship, or as you place it: power dynamics.

Power dynamics is dependent on: If they are both two consenting adults who are financially and emotionally independent & stable of each other. If those conditions check out, then there really isn't much of a problem, and it doesn't qualify as quasi-pedophlic sexual predatory as you seem to be painting these relationships or sexual encounters to be.

I mean, I've met couples - with children - who are 19/28 & 23/31 and started out which way. These relationships do happen.

I concede it is weird, at first glance, or when it's like a 30+ year old who exclusively dates teenagers/undergraduates. Yet people involved in those age ranges are still adults with their full agency behind their actions when they consent to sexual intercourse or romantic engagements; if both partners are financially, socially, and emotionally stable and independent of one another, then categorizing this as creepy, weird, or quasi-pedophilic , feels dehumanizing and infantilizing to reduce teenaged adults into helpless victims of those elder partners.

[-] aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago

26 and 19 seems fine, once you become an adult it's more about being in the same phase of life. 30+ year olds dating legal age teenagers is where it starts to get creepy though.

[-] LiberalSocialist@hexbear.net 0 points 2 years ago

18-19 and 26-27 are not in the same phase of life.

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[-] ssjmarx@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago

Half your age plus seven, a nineteen year old is an adult and they can make their own decisions. As long as the 26 year old isn't their boss or some other category with power over the 19 year old it's fine.

[-] Kuori@hexbear.net 0 points 2 years ago

yeah i completely agree with this actually. at 26 your brain is done growing. at 19 you are still (developmentally speaking) dumb as fuck.

i think the real issue is when you start to tack on a few more years to the older partner but i do still think it's hella gross and weird to perv on people significantly younger than you are :shrug-outta-hecks:

it doesn't help that (at least in my experience) the older partner usually makes a habit of dating young, dicaprio-style

[-] frankfurt_schoolgirl@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago

your brain is done growing

Says who? My understanding is that in a large population, certain specific structures in the brain were observed to slow their rate of change around the age of 25. Other parts of the brain continued to change forever. Certain people may experience the changes earlier or later. If you really believe that the problem with an age gap relationship is physical differences between the brains of the partners, do you also think that neurodiverse people shouldn't be able to consent at all?

A 26 and a 19 year old are still gross tho.

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[-] MeatfuckerDidNothing@hexbear.net 0 points 2 years ago

As a former 19 y/o who was having sex with people that age and older- it entirely depends, but if you've done kink and consent education you probably have better boundary skills than most adult USians, and more experienced people showing you the ropes is nice.

But this is coming from a lesbian perspective and 19 y/o shouldn't be dating 26 y/o.

[-] Upanotherday@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

having sex with people

:hentai-free: :bern-disgust:

:volcel-vanguard:

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[-] ComradeLove@hexbear.net 0 points 2 years ago

Yet, it's totally fine for 25-year-olds to date 20-year-olds.

[-] Hewaoijsdb@hexbear.net 0 points 2 years ago

LiberalSocialist, you're a professional at making high engagement posts :07:

[-] LiberalSocialist@hexbear.net 0 points 2 years ago

I dunno why I have the power.

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[-] teddiursa@hexbear.net 0 points 2 years ago

Uhh in your title you’re talking about fucking but in the comments everyone is talking about dating.

There are issues with age gaps in dating/long term relationships. But if it’s just sex then it’s just sex. A 19 year old can consent to sex, and it doesn’t really matter if your partner is older because you’re not gonna have a long term relationship with them and you’re only gonna interact with them for one day.

[-] LiberalSocialist@hexbear.net 0 points 2 years ago

I think a 19 yo can consent to sex but its creepy, weird, and potentially harmful if the other person is 26 or older.

[-] jxjejeuu73_8kd@hexbear.net 1 points 2 years ago

k. Now what?

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this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2022
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