this post was submitted on 16 Mar 2026
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Hello there! My wife and I are a trans + cis lesbian couple. Our son (2) has always known us as his moms, and uses "she" for both of us. Lately, he's heard a lot of talk about other kid's moms and dads at daycare, and has started trying to use that same language at home.

That isn't preferred of course; we do our best to remind him that he has two moms, but being a toddler he's noticed that he gets extra attention when he uses that word, so that's fun!

I'm not too worried about how we'll handle that, it's just going to take time. What I'm wondering is if this is something cis gay/lesbian couples experience? Like, your child becomes aware of the categories of "mom" and "dad", and tries to fit both parents into those categories? I'd like to think that it can happen to cis queer couples as well, but it could also just be since I am trans.

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