this post was submitted on 12 May 2026
152 points (97.5% liked)

No Stupid Questions

48072 readers
563 users here now

No such thing. Ask away!

!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules (interactive)


Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.

All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.



Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.

Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.



Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.

Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.



Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.

That's it.



Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.

Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.



Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.

Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.

On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.

If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.



Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.

If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.

Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.



Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.



Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.

Let everyone have their own content.



Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here. This includes using AI responses and summaries.



Credits

Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!

The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

It's not a childhood trauma thing. I had a decent upbringing. I've been like this all my life. I'll talk about people using their name to others when the named person isn't around, but I avoid using their name as a vocative to their face.

Same thing with people using my name. I don't mind people summoning me by calling my name, but I cringe when people use my name as a vocative in front of me. I also get irritated when people I don't know and have no intention of establishing a relationship with use my name.

I worked in a call center and we had the usual opening "thank you for calling _____ my name is early_riser, how can I help you?" I assumed the unspoken rule was that I'm giving my name so the client can later refer to me in complaints or commendations, not because I want to establish anything more than a client-employee relationship. Also, I always use "sir" or "ma'am" when addressing clients, and hope they reciprocate that respect.

Edit:

Yes I know what names are for. Also “angry” was too strong a word. I don’t lash out at people when they do this. I understand that people are trying to be friendly when they use my name and that the irritation is unwarranted, but it’s there and I want to know why.

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] CultLeader4Hire@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

I also am like this but it’s partially trauma. The general agreed upon “advice” is that if this isn’t related to trauma it’s because of neurodivergence, at least that’s what professionals have told me. My issue is from both.

[–] mosspiglet@lemmy.world 4 points 7 hours ago

What bothers me is people who use your name constantly in conversation. "Mosspiglet, I saw this movie last night. Yeah, Mosspiglet, it was really good."

[–] kSPvhmTOlwvMd7Y7E@lemmy.world 1 points 7 hours ago

I dont hate it, but it's wierd enough to me; so that i only ever do this to other when i am angry, with elevated voice

[–] blockheadjt@sh.itjust.works 1 points 7 hours ago

I use names when specificity is needed. E.g., if I'm in a room with two other people, and I want to address only one of them, I'll use a name (or nickname if there is one) to clarify who I am addressing.

If I'm in a room with only one other person, then using a name to address them would be redundant, unless I am not getting their attention otherwise (e.g., they're engrossed in a book).

[–] DamienGramatacus@lemmy.world 4 points 13 hours ago

Some people do this to convey that they are listening and paying attention. However, when overused, (like saying sometimes name 5 times in a sentence in a one to one conversation) I have always found it disingenuous and try to avoid doing it myself.

[–] gilokee@lemmy.world 5 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

yes, it makes me really uncomfortable! I had a friend who would always say my name while talking to me, and it felt somehow... diminutive? Like she was trying to be motherly? I don't know.

[–] mosspiglet@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

I had a friend in school who did this. Really nice guy, but he would constantly say your name while having a regular conversation. It was always unnerving and distracting.

[–] YawningNostalgia@thelemmy.club 3 points 7 hours ago

I had multiple classmates do this too and they were genuinely wonderful people. I think they heard it once as a tactic and decided to keep using it. Nothing against them but it's terrible advice What if it was a psyop to make life more difficult for autistic people lol

[–] Bo7a@piefed.ca 2 points 13 hours ago

I despise hearing/reading my name. So much so that when I found a book series I loved, but the MC shared my name I actually put down the paper version, grabbed the e-book, and did a global find/replace on all 12 books to remove my name.

[–] FosterMolasses@leminal.space 4 points 17 hours ago

Oh my gosh, I genuinely thought I was the only one who felt this way.

I've even seen people online in smaller communities referring to each other by their first names instead of their user handles and it always made me cringe a little for some reason haha

The bright side being that I'm completely immune to "neurolinguistic programming" or whatever weird shit manipulators are taught to use. Every single time I hear my name emphasized or repeated, it's like I can hear the slash 8-bit sfx and my HP going down.

Do this enough times and I will begin to avoid you like an actual viral contagion, bwahaha

[–] Strider@lemmy.world 4 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

Chiming in with the 'you might be neurodivergent' crowd.

Absolutely typical.

Welcome and feel free to ping if you want to know stuff.

[–] SchwertImStein@feddit.org 2 points 16 hours ago
[–] Alpha71@lemmy.world 2 points 17 hours ago

Everybody to me is "Hey Y'all"

[–] ieGod@lemmy.zip 1 points 16 hours ago

Yes that's weird.

[–] supernight52@lemmy.world 51 points 1 day ago (4 children)

I think you're just autistic, buddy. This is not typical behavior for people that are not neurodivergent. The tell is that you get "oddly angry" when someone uses your name when they're strangers. Good luck navigating life with this one.

[–] rowinxavier@lemmy.world 10 points 17 hours ago

As an autistic person with ADHD too I was going to say this. I hate my name being used, I strongly prefer dude or mate, I'll even take "hey you", but using my name is very similar to extreme eye contact or touching my hands. No, no thank you, I would prefer not to.

[–] YawningNostalgia@thelemmy.club 8 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

It's not an unreasonable gripe and autism isn't an insult.
Some people use your name too much and it does feel weird, like they're trying to use their self-help book advice on you. "Good luck navigating life" is a nasty thing to say. Don't be a dick

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] MnemonicBump@lemmy.dbzer0.com 28 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Names exist specifically so other people have something to call you. There is no point in having a name if it isn't explicitly for the purpose of being used by other people.

[–] YawningNostalgia@thelemmy.club 2 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Doesn't mean you have to say it repeatedly lol I know what my name is

[–] lord_ryvan@ttrpg.network 2 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

I get where you're coming from, YawningNostalgia!

[–] YawningNostalgia@thelemmy.club 2 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Woooooow. I dislike the Dutch now

[–] lord_ryvan@ttrpg.network 1 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Damn, all of them?

Same, mostly.

[–] YawningNostalgia@thelemmy.club 1 points 6 hours ago

My cousin's dutch ex bf was really hot so I could make exceptions

[–] IWW4@lemmy.zip 24 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Yes it is weird. It is your name, why else should they call you? “Cat with the fluffy eyebrows”?

I assumed the unspoken rule is rule is that the client can give my name so the client can later refer to me in complaints.

The call center would certainly now you took the call without needing your name, but you are partially correct. You giving your name humanizes your interaction with the client so the client is less inclined to submit a complaint. Also so much of customer satisfaction with outages and issues is achieved just by having someone address the issue.

[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

When a customer reads my name tag in an attempt to be friendly

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

I do the same "hey man, what's up?" Because it takes my brain a second to use the search function. I know their name but I can't come up with it in time for passing chat. So "hey man" comes off as less of a dick move than just standing there staring blankly at them.

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 21 points 1 day ago (7 children)

I'm just bad with remembering names so I've learned to just not use them.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] brax@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (6 children)

I hate being called "sir" it sounds pretentious as fuck. Use my name, its far more personable and normal. Titles are like dress codes - completely made up theater that people play along with.

In the event of a call center scenario, it wouldn't even be hard to track down who took the call whether they remembered my name or not, so I still wouldn't care.

The only time it would be weird/annoying is if the person so constantly using my name instead of a pronoun, or if they're using a tone to imply negativity toward it.

load more comments (6 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›