Citizens of Super Earth! This is your trusted Ministry of Truth Approved Investigator Stefan Holmes with an URGENT transmission!
I have discovered a suspicious looking envelope outside of our front door. After hours of deep investigation I have barely inched closer to cracking this bizarre case.Never in my long and prosperous 5 months at the job have I seen anything of the likes. I even asked our Janitorial Specialist (to protect his Identity I am only refering to said person as M.T) if this has ever happened before This was his response:
"No"
I urge you, citizens of Super Earth, Champions of Deduction and Yearners of Truth - Help me crack this case open.
What could all of this possibly mean?
https://xcancel.com/helldivers2/status/2039281781162029259
Evidence #1 - Envelope (Filthy and Opened by me)
A seemingly normal SuperPost envelope to the untrained eye - but if you look really close you can tell that something is off.
First finding - Stains. There are numerous stains of an oil-like substance splashed across the fragile paper.
Second finding - Sand. The envelop contains dozens of grains of sand.
Third finding - Crumbs of an unidentified origin. Bland taste, very uninspired - definitely baked on Super Earth.What awaits inside?
https://xcancel.com/helldivers2/status/2039285995665797512
Evidence #2 - Apple (semi-consumed)
An average sized apple of, the SE Gold variety, presenting huge bitemarks of an unidentified species and/or human with big weird teeth.
The item has been sent to our laboratory for further investigation - but we can't afford to wait another second!I need answers. Who took the last bite?
https://xcancel.com/helldivers2/status/2039297222504804856
Evidence #3 - ID Badge (Steven Caves)
I suspect that the person of whom this ID badge belonged to was in fact cave expert Steven Caves, known for digging into fragile cave networks and collapsing them with his "expertise".
Again item is covered in formerly mentioned stains, sand and crumbs. Crumbs still taste bland, not sweet enough. Not even juicy. After thorough scanning for fingerprints - the only ones found were unfortunately my own.
Where was Steven Caves last spotted?
https://xcancel.com/helldivers2/status/2039312299282792722
Evidence #4 - Collage (well made)
A collage seemingly depicting a very strong individual of Alien origin - with a very thought-provoking headline.
This collage was undeniably put tgether by a master f their craft.Wh hlds this this much creative pwer and ability t spark discurse?
https://xcancel.com/helldivers2/status/2039327072162586686
Evidence #5 - USB drive (cntaining vide)
The vide cntained within the drive depicts a heartbreaking stry. A stry f suffering, repressin and invasin.
Extremely Prfund and well edited. Almst nt discernable frm reality.Did it make yu cry as well?
*Note: Follow the cancel link to watch the video:
https://xcancel.com/helldivers2/status/2039342893685490126
AN OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE MINISTRY OF TRUTH:
