Not the Onion

I haven't read every word of the New Testament, but I'm pretty sure Jesus didn't advocate for his followers to attack anyone. But Christofascists don't really pay attention to what Jesus said anyway, so this tracks.

Do nothing democrats demand nothing. They won't even vote in favor of releasing the names of the people on their team that rape women.

Welp, if republicans tell them "yes", democrats will probably just do their usual bipartisan thing and don the crusader cloaks too, but explains to their voters that this is the less bad crusade and rep armageddon would be worse than a dem one.

Democrats Demand Investigation of Claims Moon Made of Green Cheese