This reads like someone took an existing rant that made some kind of sense and made it about DUI's
4chan
Greentexts, memes, everything 4chan.
It's about guns. I've met the people they're making fun of
Or the original didn't make sense and they are pointing that out
Which of these is anon?

Are those actual individuals or several cars of the same make and model grouped together? That’s messed up.
Fake: no, this is true, I got ran off I-5 tonight by guys like this
Gay: depends exclusively on what beer OP is drinking
Blue ribbon?
No, people who drink PBR aren't this sure about anything
We're sure that PBR is still the best value American macrobrew. Unless fat tire counts as a macrobrew
Rainier is better
Meh, it's just a slightly better lager. I'll order it whenever I'd otherwise order a bud or something, but I'd go with a pbr instead
He's just a bad driver, it's clearly Corona 0%.
S-tier.
Anon is an asshole driver.