No no no! Reject esoteric mysticism.
Instead, put your faith in this magic talking box that holds the secret codes to your personal fortune and the names and pictures of all your friends. Accept that the arcane numerology of social security numbers and FICO scores controls your status within society and your socio-economic future. Eat from a large pot filled with Aspartame and Potassium Sorbate and Soy Lecithin, while you stare at a wall-sized talking head speak of current events on the other side of the planet. Enter your self-propelled horseless carriage and ride the great river of stone to your grandmother's house because a disembodied voice reminded you that today was her birthday.
What part of your life seems in any way weird or kooky? Just accept that this is normal, until another twenty years pass and it is all completely different.
