this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2026
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EU: rescues a kitten

America: The Democrats rescue a kitten (from a Democrat paper) The Republicans rescue a kitten (from a Republican paper)

China: China rescues a kitten, but at what cost?

Russia: Russia kidnaps a Ukrainian kitten and brings it to a facility in Russia (forgets to mention this facility is a vet)

DPRK: North Korean propaganda shows Kim Jong Un rescuing a kitten. Whether that is factual or not is still up for debate.

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[–] SoyViking@hexbear.net 23 points 2 months ago

Ukraine: Meet the brave volunteers who saved a Kitten from Russian full-scale terror (the volunteers all have swastika tattoos, the kitten was stuck in a tree and the volunteers didn't save it)

Palestine: Hamas uses kitten as human shield while twirling moustache, says IDF spokesperson

Iran: Could this story about a kitten being rescued be the end of the islamic republic?

[–] RevolutionsPerMinute@lemmygrad.ml 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Venezuela: Kittens are starving in Venezuela due to economic mismanagement of the communist regime

[–] shreditdude0@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 2 months ago

(Cat has already had three meals, one of them being an hallaca, from morning to midday, plus a dozen treats.)

[–] big_spoon@lemmygrad.ml 16 points 2 months ago

palestine: kitten was kidnapped by terrorists and taken into a hamas torture site, israel gets to the rescue, but the kitten dies after an accidental missile impact

[–] pyromaiden@lemmygrad.ml 12 points 2 months ago

Iran: Kitten kidnapped (rescued), tortured (given a bath), and executed (it's literally napping) by theocratic dictatorship.

[–] Богданова@lemmygrad.ml 8 points 2 months ago

Business Insider: Why rescuing kittens is actually bad for the economy and encourages laziness.

Fox News: "Springfield Haitian barbecues rescued kitten."

[–] big_spoon@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 2 months ago

cuba: kitten tries to escape from brutal communist repression climbing a tree, but he's stopped by the authoritarian regime

[–] SevenSkalls@hexbear.net 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Now do one about what the Democrat paper would say if a Republican rescued a kitten, and what would the Republican paper say if a Democrat rescued one.

Or is the joke that they wouldn't even report it?

[–] SoyViking@hexbear.net 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Republican Holden Bloodfeast receives bipartisan accolades for accidentally saving kitten while giving keynote address at yearly Murder All Kittens conference

Communist Democrat Numbers Fuckstein unleashes WOKE PREDATOR on American heartland!

[–] SevenSkalls@hexbear.net 3 points 2 months ago

Perfect lol

[–] ferret@hub.workersofthe.world 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

@The Free Penguin then the kitten was executed with an anti-aircraft gun

[–] Maeve@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 2 months ago

After it died from Havana syndrome.