I have a hypothesis that the chat client hasn't updated, and sending the message forces it to check, and finds out the person disconnected before you sent the message.
Either that or you're whack as fuck and nobody wants to deal with it.
this post was submitted on 18 Jan 2026
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Or they've decided to go to bed and don't want to start a conversion.
Or they are like me and past a certain time, they just don't want to have any social interaction, no matter with who.
Back in the day, pre-internet and texting, a lot of people used to have the idea that it is rude to call somebody after some particular time in the evening. Personally I'd be down with this convention relating to ALL forms of communication.
It's much harder to confirm either hypothesis, now that I've moved from Discord to Matrix and from my old friend "group" to a much better one.
It feels personal, but it's just bad tech.