The definition of bigotry is someone who's behavior is a function of what they know about you. If people change their behavior to treat me better or worse because they learn (for example) that I'm gay then I don't want them at all.
this post was submitted on 30 Sep 2025
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Ok... so someone finds out you're gay. Figure to themselves you're probably having it rough, with all the LGBTQ+ hate thats going around, and are making sure to treat you nicer because of it, or maybe let some things slide that would irk them otherwise -> bigots.
and are making sure to treat you nicer because of it
That's a bad thing
If I could trust that this is the reason behind a person's behavior then we wouldn't be having this conversation. But there are so many potentially malicious reasons to be extra sugary sweet to someone different. Plus it's infantalizing to be "treated nicer" like I'm not a kid. I don't want everyone to change their tone I just want to participate and have fun. If political issues were bothering me then I'd go to a political group that centers my lgbt-ness, that's my choice
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It's fun to have a friend who's been a waiter for 30 years, he just openly narrates the service and how good/bad they're doing (usually "look at how hard they have to scramble because you assholes came in late")
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Pre bussing be bussin
I used to be a server. I now pre bus all my tables.
Same, but I was a dishwasher.
My wife goes crazy with this, gets every last little thing together. I do some, but not like she does. I'm not sure they want all the straw wappers and shit on top of the pile of places anyway.
But do you even bring your glass back to the bar before you leave?
happy to be your people
Bussy - the person bussing it.
Just fuck off and leave a review or buy me a drink
My test for people is dressing plainly, by which i mean, not excessively well. I wear simple and plain clothing and have a plain appearance.
In my opinion, jewelry and cosmetics and all that are all very problematic. The whole feminism movement is largely about the fact that women don't want to be objectified, but then they objectify themselves, i argue. By wearing makeup, you're making yourself a "pretty thing", one whose superficial appearance is judged, which is arguably more problematic than helpful. Like, if you're a woman and talking to a man and you're overly pretty, you subconsciously think that they only talk to you because you look pretty, and that makes you suspicious of them and a little bit angry, which hinders the discussion and makes honest exchange of opinions a bit more difficult. If you dress plainly, don't wear makeup, earrings or any of that, then you can't think that they're only interested in your superficial appearance that they're interested in, so that means they talk to you because of your personality, which i think puts you in a better mood and makes the talking more worth-while. It leads to higher-quality exchanges.
I'm married, but I find simple beauty like you describe far more attractive than lots of makeup or other things some women feel to the need to do.
makeup is self care: on a man or a woman… too much makeup, like anything else being too much, is performative and lacks taste… taste is an appropriate amount of something applied in a thoughtful manner
you wouldn’t wear a suit to the pub, but it never hurts to not wear ripped jeans and a shirt that’s 2 sizes too large… just like you probably wouldn’t wear an entire face of makeup to a weekly drinks with friends, but you might wear some mascara or concealer (doesn’t matter if you’re a guy or a gal these things make you look great either way)
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