Fake he lasers off his toe nails. You think any earth metal could cut Superman's nails? Gafaw
this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2025
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I think there was a comic where kryptonite based grooming tools were shown.
Lolz I was just guessing and being a dork. I guess that's interesting though.
No, 99% of the time, it's laser vision. But kryptonite did show up once or twice.
probably a little blue kryptonite, the blue turns off his powers, the green one makes him sick.
We just don't talk about the red one and it's tingling effect.
I thought it was pink kryptonite that we don't talk about.
I distinctly remember some rendition of Superman where they showed him "shaving" by reflecting his laser/heat vision off of a mirror.
You think he does this for his asshole hair?
What did superman's hair do to you?
The Pro had a funnier take on the same basic idea:
Both comic artists have some misapprehension about how solidly a plane's wings are attached.... maybe they're Boeings.
Another thing is that if you get past the initial ka-pow! moment, the real issue would be how super are those swimmers? They might work like heat seeking missiles.
Been a while since I read it, but Larry Niven had a whole essay on this subject:
https://larryniven.net/?q=man-of-steel-woman-of-kleenex-by-larry-niven
Hancock (2008) had a similar bit, with the titular character blowing a few holes in his roof during a one-night-stand.
I've read for years about this scene being written, but not included. Imagine my surprise when I found out that it was not only filmed, but made easily available online!
I swear I read a thought experiment on this topic decades ago in a Penthouse or Playboy.
Trashy version
People who have aex are trash and should burn in hell
Damn, is that some kryptonite toe clipper?
This is an artists rendition of me cutting my toe nails.
I literally need two hands and it shoots off like a bullet.
I close my eyes now because once I got hit in the face with the ricochet.
Have you tried using pedicure scissors rather than nail clippers?
Yes, they do work better
Why they so yellow Clark
It seems not even superman can escape toenail fungus
Alright, I'll be the pedantic dick commenter and say: if Superman had toenail clippers capable of cutting through his nails, they wouldn't shoot off at insane speeds. Either the material of the clippers would just be crushed in his grasp, or they're made of some fantastical material that can withstand the forces needed and can cut them. There's no scenario where the trimmings shoot off like this
Hmm. I wonder about hair.
kagis
Ah. It does seem to be problematic.
https://ilovecomiccovers.tumblr.com/post/52778791014/superman-at-the-barber-shop-homages-by-wayne
Those covers are great.
In the Silver Age, Superman's hair and fingernails didn't grow. (I'm not sure whether it was addressed in the Golden Age.) This implies that Superman has the exact same haircut that Jor-El and Lara gave him as a baby, which was also never addressed, as far as I know.
In Action Comics #300 from 1963, Superman ends up in the far future, when the sun has turned red, so he loses his powers. Losing his powers makes his hair and fingernails grow. As he figures out how to get back to his own time, he makes a point to cut his hair and fingernails before his powers come back, since otherwise, there would be no way to cut them afterward.
Later renditions are a completely different story, of course. Mostly, I've seen him use heat vision to cut his hair, with an occasional kryptonite-laced razor or scissors. I don't remember any version showing him cut his nails, other than Action #300.
Harley seems to have a boner while doing that.
Well she is using a chainsaw. That always gets het riled up.
Disagree. Yes, normal clippers would just bend and break but let's say the clippers are from Krypton (maybe some basic accessories were in the space pod he was send it or whatever) and can in fact cut his toenails. When a normal human cuts his toenails those will sometimes shoot off and fly a meter or two. The joke is that for forces involved in cutting Superman's toenails are so big that the clipping would take down an airplane. I think the "shoot off with huge energy" part is in fact possible. I don't think that a tiny piece of really dense matter traveling at huge velocity would cause this kind of damage though. It would be more like a bullet, passing straight through and leaving a tiny hole behind. Or exploding and leaving a crater if the thing it hits is also really dense I guess.
if Superman had toenail clippers capable of cutting through his nails, they wouldn’t shoot off at insane speeds.
One word: TEC
TEC
I rate it 3/5. If it had some twintowers the score would double