this post was submitted on 08 Aug 2025
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The Onion and other satire w/ layers

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In what is being hailed as a victory for advocates of the right to end one’s life in total humiliation, the Idaho Legislature passed a new death with indignity law Thursday that will allow the terminally ill to be crushed by falling vending machines. “Across our state, people dying of incurable diseases will now have the right to choose a slow, painful, and really embarrassing death,” House Speaker Mike Moyle said of the bipartisan measure that is expected to be signed into law today, remarking that the option to die in the manner of a person who has rocked a vending machine back and forth, perhaps when it failed to dispense change or release a desired food item, had been legal in Switzerland for many decades. [...]

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[–] jared@mander.xyz 11 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)
[–] hypnicjerk@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

HELLOOOOOO CONSUMER YES HELLOOOOOO CONSUMER

[–] errer@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

Daddy needs his feel good juice!

[–] Good4Nuthin@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

Mingus Cola ftw

[–] Little8Lost@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Vending-chan is gonna isekai those poor souls UwU

[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

does it take visa? i don't carry cash

[–] TheRealKuni@piefed.social 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Crushed by an off-brand drink machine…just like that old Gypsy woman said!

[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

You're not really allowed to say the G-Word anymore, it's usage came from a cultural misunderstanding that the word meant something like "Fortune Teller", when really it's a racial slur used against the Romani

[–] TheRealKuni@piefed.social 3 points 3 days ago

I’m aware, I’m quoting an episode of Archer (which I believe itself was referencing something else).

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] Tja@programming.dev 2 points 2 days ago

Also a Vulcan name.