Every floor and piece of furniture will be made of wood and randomly (and nearly always at the worst times) you will get splinters that you cant remove from your skin.

No email or chat. All work communication are through scheduled face to face meetings.

The answer to questions in YouTube titles isn't always "no" so you have to watch all that shit to get the answers.

You saw that cord you needed yesterday and now you can't find it in any drawer or closet.

Tomorrow you need a different cord to perpetuate the cycle.

I was already in heck.

You get to have your entire music playlist, but every song slowly shifts in and out of tune.

You have to eat cereal at every meal, but the milk goes from nice and cold to warm the moment you pour it, and the cereal also instantly turns soggy.

The only TV shows nothing but Calgary vs Vancouver hockey games. (actually this might be hell)

Having to listen to that one family member complain about their job and they tell you that it won't work when you give them the simple solution.

You are allotted one pair of footwear, shearling slippers which are always a little moist like you’ve just worn them.

No matter how often you cut your fingernails, they are always just too long and there is always dirt under them.

One of the keys of your password to start the computer doesn't work, but it's always a different one each time.

Every time you want to take a nap, there's a leaf blower starting under your window.

Two forks perpetually stuck together and you have an uncontrollable desire to separate them, but can't bring yourself to do it...

I'm curious who'll get why!

Instead of wet floor, I'd suggest a floor covered in slugs (the animal)