Like other people suggested here, use opnsense instead of pfsense, and wireguard instead of openvpn. What I did for my homelab was to get a used HP t620 thinclient and an Intel 350 card with 2x 1gbps ports. You say you have 10gbps, so you would need a card that can handle that, and maybe a beefier CPU. For my setup, this tiny 65€ machine is not even feeling it. Single digit cpu usage for 2 wireguard connections, a little over 1GB RAM usage for a handful of services. I think for you an n100 with 4gb of ram is more than enough, but going for 8gb will be better and it will not be much more expensive.
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I’m not sure if you ever made your way to following through with this… But the three node system isn’t a bad starting point. However, here’s how I would approach it (similar to how I actually got my start in homelabs and how I do things now)
1 system for your router (looks like you picked a Qotom unit, those are decent), 8-16 gb ram
1 system for proxmox virtualization… run all your services in LXC’s or Virtual machines, as much ram as you can get a get for your system
And 1 system dedicated to storage (truenas or unraid), 32gb ECC ram (personal preference but not necessarily needed even with zfs for home use)
I’d start at https://reddit.com/r/homelab … but since we’re on Lemmy, I’d rather suggest posting on !homelab@geekroom.tech (new, but looking to gain traction)
I subscribed. Happy to support another homelab / self host community!
Thanks mate!
im thinking to start with just a raspberry pi and using nix to manage whats installed. i'll read up on the router issue, but i wonder if it's that important to me. i have installed openwrt before and it wasnt too bad.