Disclaimer: I have no quarrel with the mods using the term in the creation of this community. I understand why they chose it, as even if they share my disagreement with the term when applied to ADHD, there's not really a better inclusive term. "Mental illness" is really the only other option, and naming a community that would probably invite darker discussions that the mods might not be prepared to handle.
Another disclaimer: I think the term is perfectly valid when applied to autism, as autism is not, to the best of my knowledge, a mental illness so much as a difference in processing. Being autistic is only "bad" in the sense that our society discourages autistic traits. (Apologies if this is wrong; I'm neither autistic nor especially knowledgeable about autism.)
The term "neurodivergent" implies that there's nothing wrong with you if you have ADHD--you're just special and different. But my ADHD is an illness that requires treatment. A lot of people will tell you that the only reason ADHDers struggle is because society is set up wrong, but I don't think that's true, at least for me. Being unable to remember anything, unable to self-start, and hypersensitive to rejection would be massive problems in any world. Sure, the world today is particularly brutal for ADHDers in a way we could probably mitigate if we reorganized society to be kinder, but that doesn't mean ADHD isn't ultimately a disorder that some people need to treat with medication and therapy.
I agree with you that "I have a mental illness" shouldn't get a horrified reaction anymore than "I have an illness" does. It's a shitty stigma we should try to break down.
Yeah, the toxic positivity is a big part of what I'm referring to here. I've been deeply disappointed to hear my fellow leftists say things like, "Under socialism, you wouldn't need your ADHD meds! You're not disordered, you're just living in a capitalist society that doesn't value you!" Which, while it's true that living in a capitalist society makes things much harder on people with ADHD, I don't think it's true that none of us would struggle or need meds under a better system.
I totally understand why you identify with the term neurodivergent. It really does seem to be the best term that exists for people like you.
Go ahead. I'm perfectly down to have a discussion.