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this post was submitted on 23 May 2024
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I said it back then and I'll say it again: Calling your mega corporation "Alphabet" sounds hella distopian
The main reason for the name is that it sorts before both Amazon and Apple in the Big Tech directory. It's literally as petty as that. They obviously chose a word that was related to searching within that criterion, but still.
I thought it was because .xyz had recently become a tld and they loved the sound of abc.xyz
It's honestly weird to imagine them being concerned with branding at all because they are literally an umbrella corporation that doesn't seem to interface with customers directly. Like I never think about them and I suspect having regular people think more about them would not be good for them in any way.
"Alphabet" works for that in my head because it slides off my brain. I forget they exist until something reminds me.
It's for investors.
In that case I guess Aaron or Aardvark were too evocative of imagery and they really wanted something as antiseptic as possible.
They probably want to avoid anything that sounds like it might be Jewish, so Aaron is out. This is not because of direct anti-Semitism, but because of the fear of it. Avoiding such words avoids the subject entirely. (Ironically, the Semitic origins of the word "Alphabet" aren't as obvious.)
Aardvark is too alien and weird. Also, C-levels are deathly afraid of varking too aard.
Abacus might have been a better choice, but it doesn't come with the infuriatingly tantalising closeness of one or two letters' distance.
How about "Abysmal"?
Gee, what other organizations are called Alphabet agencies, bureaus, or depatments?