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Struggling to tolerate wife's haircut
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 10 May 2024
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Relationship Advice
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If I'm honest with myself it's hard to pin-point the real source of my feelings. I guess it's a mix of things. But,, at the moment I do think the largest issue is that I don't like the look. My concern about gender identity is one that comes up every now and again, mostly because she made a comment about how good that hairstyle made her feel which sounded like gender euphoria to me. She assures me that's not it, so I think I would be OK if she was happy to grow her hair out.
I guess you're still right about couple's therapy. I did try to organise it at one point, but it got difficult. I'll take it more seriously now.
If she's sure it's not a gender thing, what about a nice wig for dates and that sort of thing?
A different short haircut isn't gender euphoria. I think you are reaching since that scares you.
I don't think it's gender euphoria just because of the haircut. It's that she's thinking she doesn't identify as female anymore, she does seem to have changed. And, seeing herself with a buzz cut evoked strong feelings of it being right. I've definitely heard other people having that kind of gender euphoria from having a male haircut, and I've seen someone else go though a similar transition.
Having said that I'm not trying to say I know better than she does, it is just a fear of what could happen and would ruin the relationship. I don't have any problem with people being trans but I'm simply not attracted to men, trans or otherwise. So there probably is these feelings mixed in when I see such a male haircut on my wife (a look that I also find very unattractive).
Please remember that not identifying as a woman anymore doesn't always mean that they identify as a man, can just as well be anywhere in between or neither. So that wouldn't necessarily change your relationship, they are still the same person.