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I'M SUCH A NICE BIRD
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this post was submitted on 28 Mar 2024
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Tbh most real birds probably act like the last one.
Ducks don't even ask. They just rape. Most birds don't have a penis, but ducks do. It's for raping.
Which is fairly common in the animal kingdom. The reproductive organs of many animals are designed around this, with the females having vaginas mean to prevent it, and the males having penises meant to specifically copulate with those unique vaginas, often times having spines to give their specific offspring better odds or trigger ovulation despite the pain it causes.
The reason human penises have a head on them is to rake out rival sperm. It's the same reason why a man's libido crashes hard after he orgasms, so he doesn't rake out his own sperm.
Something tells me that didn't work out as nature planned considering the amount of dudes who would be immediately grossed out at that prospect.
I mean, selective pressure doesn't have to be perfect to influence evolution, and factors that directly influence reproductive success have a high potency. You don't have to know you're getting sloppy seconds to gain an advantage from having a shovel-dick. If there's little-to-no disadvantage, dudes with dicks that clean out vaginas will do better than those that don't.
A close-relative example: gorillas have tiny dicks and relatively weak sperm because there's very little competition for mating. The silverback gets all the chicks and that's that. There's no competition inside the vagina, so they don't have any tools that would help. Humans don't have the same kind of iron trap on sexual pairing, so we have some amount of sexual warfare, so to speak.
Somewhat related, but female chimps make sure to hook up with multiple males, so that none of them can be totally sure if the kid is theirs or not. A male looking to mate with a mother who knew the kid wasn't his is liable to try and kill it, so promiscuity saves lives. When the ladies are looking to hook up with lower-ranking guys, they're a bit sneaky about it too. Presumably the higher ranking guys wouldn't be too happy about that.
Anyway, nature be doing stuff.