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Asking a girl out for comic book store date?
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 16 Mar 2024
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If you only talked to her once or something and didn't know her that well, maybe just ask her to hang out at the comic book store and mention you enjoyed talking with her, or something you genuinely liked when you last talked to her (other than her looks).
This sets up a low expectation meeting where you can figure out if it's a crush or you actually like her and if it's not mutual you can just hang out as friends if both of you are comfortable with that. The goal should be to feel out of you like her and not to try and convince her to go on a real date, just be yourself and see if there is compatibility in a one on one setting.
Just be honest with how you feel at the the and respect her feelings as well.
While I respect your opinion, I couldn't disagree more here.
It doesn't sound like he's looking for a friend, he's interested in her romantically. Playing it "safe" might send mixed signals and just end up with him frustrated in the friend zone. More importantly, it's deceptive about his intentions and starting their relationship, whatever it ends up being, on a foundation of dishonesty. That's a recipe for disaster.
He should approach it as if it's a date, because that makes his intentions clear, and allows the whole accepting/rejecting play out much more quickly. If he really wants to be friends with her after the rejection, they can work on it.
I'm not saying he should come on strong, but this wishy-washy approach that "is it or isn't it a date" thing just likely isn't good for anyone involved.
I find a coffee type meeting and a conversation is a good way to feel out of it's a crush or actual connection. I definitely wouldn't linger if there's a mismatch in expectations but I've also regretted jumping straight to dating with someone I would have liked to hang out with platonically but now they feel weird about it or think I dumped them.
It's definitely not how a less emotionally mature me would have operated so maybe your right and it's not the best advice here.
I guess I have to get a bit pedantic.
I've gone out on dates with women who I would never claim I was dating. If someone had asked me that directly, I would have said "no, but I did go on a date with them."
So I still think what you describe is a date, but to be dating requires at least more than a one off thing.
However, I've also dated, or gone on a date, with women whom I remained friends with afterward. Although I can't think of any now that I am still friends with. I think we kind of, unintentionally, fell into the area of "let's be platonic to see if anything comes if it" and when it didn't we drifted apart. No biggie.