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this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2024
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I knew a guy years ago that was straight then bi then gay and recall him saying ‘fucking a vagina is for pussys’
i know this is always awkward but as a bi, saying "went gay" (or straight) is technically bi erasure. Not that I'm super mad about it, but it's worth pointing out when a bisexual person is in a long term relationship / marriage until death do us part — they don't stop being bi.
"bi erasure" is a nice $2 NPR podcast phrase but isn't it ultimately up to the individual to define what his own sexuality is? If the guy says he's gay now, I believe him.
Agree that it's up to the individual, and that it's valid to switch from being bi to gay.
I don't really like how you pseudo-dismissed bi erasure as "a nice $2 NPR podcast phrase" though. That seems like bi erasure... erasure? And in this case we're getting a second hand account, so it's not a given that the person decided that they're gay - it's possible that they started dating another guy and OP reported that as "going gay," in which case it'd be good to mention bi erasure.
So ultimately I agree with you that "going gay" can be fine, but just wanted to say your phrasing could have been better.
"Bi erasure" in this context seems like empty virtue signaling. I can't exactly interview OPs friend so I have to take them at their word that their friend says he's gay now. "Fucking vaginas is for pussies" certainly supports that hypothesis.