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Yeah. Immich for the win. But not sure of the performance on iOS.
You can also share photos between users on that instance, and create shared albums where you all contribute you own photos.
!immich@lemmy.perthchat.org
Is it possible to have a shared album where I can edit/delete and they can only upload?
not sure about the shared album.
Albums are just links to photos that have already been uploaded.
I think your best bet would be to give it a go, and try all of your different needs.