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Ifixit gives fairphone 5 a 10/10 on repairability and maintanence
(www.ifixit.com)
This is a most excellent place for technology news and articles.
You can technically. But you might not get service in certain areas because it doesn't have support for all of the US bands.
I came really close to importing one until I found I couldn't use 5g, and there'd be very little LTE support for T-Mobile.
Ended up getting a Pixel 8, hopefully they can get it to the US sooner than they did the FP4.
Ive been considering GrapheneOS. I only really use Banking, Android Auto and occasionally Maps from the play store (although I LOVE Organic Maps).
I've had a fine time with GOS so far. If you just want to lessen Googles grip on you instead of going balls deep on security/privacy, it's been just as fine as a stock rom. You can install play services as a normal ass app sandboxed and control it's perms to get your push notifications and if an app doesn't work out the box there's a compatibility mode that lessens the GOS behind the scenes workings so it'll run.
I don't have any map app yet, but all my banking apps work (one with compatibility mode) and haven't had any issues with anything so far.
Graphene doesn't and won't ever support android auto, sadly, it's the only thing I miss
Edit: well, that's what they said, but now it's optionally available!