this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2026
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Autism
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This is a community for people with Autism to be themselves. All neurotypes are welcome.
Community:
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- No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments e.g: racism, sexism, religious hatred, homophobia, gatekeeping, trolling.
- Posts do not need be related to autism, off-topic discussions are allowed. This is a safe space where people with autism can feel comfortable discussing whatever they feel like discussing, as long as it does not violate the standing rules.
- Do not request donations.
- Be respectful in discussions.
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- General Lemmy World rules.
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Encouraged
- Open acceptance of all autism levels as a respectable neurotype.
- Funny memes.
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- Describe posts of pictures/memes using text in the body for our visually impaired users.
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- Questions regarding autism.
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- Please report questionable posts and let the mods deal with it.
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Would love to know all the little social rules people internalize to "do" this without knowing that they're doing it.
I don't think you got much information here, so I'll chime in with what I can.
The easiest and most successful thing to do is mirroring. It's easiest to start when speaking to one person or only a few. Notice the person's posture, positioning, tone and topic. Try to be subtle and align yourself with what they are presenting to you. If they are standing rigidly tall with hands clasped behind their back like a drill sergeant, maybe stand up straight with your hands loosely at your sides and ask short clarifying questions. If they are seated, take a seat if you can, to be at eye level.
Now also match them in tone and content of the conversation. If they are telling stories of personal experience, then add your own related story if you have one, once they draw their story to a close. Match the energy that they put out.
This is how a socially awkward person like myself manages to pass for an extrovert. Also, people will think you are the best conversationalist ever if you just ask leading questions. People love to talk, and if you encourage them and make them feel heard and important, they will think highly of you and seek out your company in the future.
This is key. Don't ask yes or no questions, otherwise it'll feel like a interrogation quickly. Ask questions that they can tell a story from/talk a lot about themselves.
Took me far too long to learn the difference.
That is really helpful actually!
Fuck their rules. Keep searching for people who don't make you adhere to rules.
Not rules per se but guidelines. Modes of operation. Protocols, like modems negotiating a connection speed. I get that there are behaviors that make people feel comfortable and behaviors with the opposite effect. It would be nice to have a more holistic understanding of these.