this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2026
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Autism

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Lexam@lemmy.world
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Thats it, im not gonna mask (aussie.zone)
submitted 2 weeks ago by minty@aussie.zone to c/autism@lemmy.world
16 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Hiii

I think the first thing that comes to mind is honestly, was my mask even convincing? I mean I dont really think so. I was stilled called weird and all that. Also I was the classic quiet kid.

Now I was masking, since I didnt stim in high school, or at uni. Atleast obviously. I repressed all that down as much as I could. But as I said, not well at all. In fact in hindsight, my difference from people was probably pretty quickly noticable.

Although it is a thin, almost transparent mask Ive tried to put on, I feel a great desire to pull it off.

Ive just started with the most obvious thing. Stimming.

As I walk now even in the city, I let my stims just do whatever. Flap a bit if I need, rubs my hands, saying "beewoop". Its very freeing.

When Im talking in a group, I do noticable stims (rubbing my knuckles, light flicks of the wrist). Although i dont do vocal stims as to not interrupt the flow of the conversation.

I am also gonna straight up bring my cinnamon roll plushie to the next dnd session with my friends. Theyre understanding people, but I am still embarrased to do that. But im gonna do that because I fucking want to. I love hugging my plushies at home while doin stuff. Why not there?

I think my increasing acceptance of all of my autistic traits, comes from 3 things. First, is the social aspect ive seen of other autistic folk asserting they're autistic in conversation, so ive followed suit. Second, is honestly being trans. Theres a level of pretty radical self acceptance in that process. Lastly, is me realising that autism is a disability. Not masking when I can (I may need to do so at work? I hope not) helps me accept who I am and heal.

I am also going to get some noise cancelling headphones. I realise I need to take care of myself much better. Put pre-emptive effort into preventing the near meltdowns (I cry a bit quietly) in the city because of all the noise.

Theres a lot I need to work out. Such as how disabled I am (gonna to a psych). But at least for now, I am helping myself by being myself.

-Minty

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[–] kayaks@slrpnk.net 4 points 2 weeks ago

:) (glad) to have read this development