this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2026
19 points (100.0% liked)
Autism
10498 readers
416 users here now
This is a community for people with Autism to be themselves. All neurotypes are welcome.
Community:
Values
- Acceptance
- Openness
- Understanding
- Equality
- Reciprocity
- Mutuality
- Love
Rules
- No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments e.g: racism, sexism, religious hatred, homophobia, gatekeeping, trolling.
- Posts do not need be related to autism, off-topic discussions are allowed. This is a safe space where people with autism can feel comfortable discussing whatever they feel like discussing, as long as it does not violate the standing rules.
- Do not request donations.
- Be respectful in discussions.
- Do not post misinformation.
- Mark NSFW content accordingly.
- Do not promote Autism Speaks.
- General Lemmy World rules.
- No bots. Humans only.
Encouraged
- Open acceptance of all autism levels as a respectable neurotype.
- Funny memes.
- Respectful venting.
- Describe posts of pictures/memes using text in the body for our visually impaired users.
- Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
- Questions regarding autism.
- Questions on confusing situations.
- Seeking and sharing support.
- Engagement in our community's values.
- Expressing a difference of opinion without directly insulting another user.
- Please report questionable posts and let the mods deal with it.
.
Helpful Resources
- Are you seeking education, support groups, and more? Take a look at our list of helpful resources.
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
This sounds like a common autistic experience. I brought similar concerns to my therapist because I was terrified that I had been harming people without knowing it. Her response sounds super trite and I didn't believe it but she said that the fact that you are concerned about this is an indication that you are not a narcissist (both in terms of clinical and popular definitions).
Ooooof, that just sounds like they are being mean or judgey.
That sounds pretty normal. I've been introduced to the poorly named concept of optimization OCD which might fit what you are describing.
This is what I think it is in me. Before I knew I was autistic and before I knew what masking was I was sure I could fix whatever was wrong with me by just trying harder and mastering all the self help, pop psychology, etc. I never apply the idea of "bootstraps" to anyone else, but I'm a different story!
I do think one of the main reasons allistic people may see autistic people as sometimes displaying narcissistic traits is that they are speaking a whole different unspoken language than us. There are signals of safety and belonging people give each other and those are very hard to crack and adopt if you are autistic, almost by definition! I think it's kind of like saying someone who can't read english is illiterate even though they can read in the language(s) they are fluent in.