this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2026
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I run a trans discord server for an IRL group. We've looked at alternatives for obvious reasons, but we're still on discord. All the alternatives we looked at come with some compromises. Often they lack some critical feature of discord. And while self hosting is great for an individual, it becomes a liability for a group as now that one individual has a great deal of responsibility and power over the rest of the group. And some alternatives are no where near as approachable as discord.
None of these problems are insurmountable, but they're also not something that is as easy to brush aside as a lot of tech enthusiasts claim. Our current stance in our group is that we'll stick with discord for now. If they start flagging our channel as adult content and demand ID to access it, at that point we'll select one of the alternatives. The drawbacks of the other platforms aren't deal breakers for us. But at present the hassle of discord's bullshit isn't enough for us to overcome the hassle of the alternatives and the transition. We're aware of alternatives and keeping them in our back pocket, but for now we're sticking with discord.
I'm no discord user so unlikely I will have an answer, but if you genuinely looking for help you should list what those critical features are (I mean the fact that those services don't have these features means they weren't critical for the devs that created them).
Ideally you could list service that was closest to what you want and the features that it was still missing.