this post was submitted on 11 Aug 2026
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Asshole: no.
Misguided: yes.
His reaction isn’t unreasonable. Misplaced well intentioned actions likely will not end as intended. Ultimately, she didn’t get it. She misunderstood what he loved about the guitar.
The whole idea of "surprises" is complete bullshit. Social media has really over romanticised this to an extreme (big surprise! Big reaction video! Completely staged. Isn't that soooo romantic and adorable). When my wife gets a present, it costs quite a lot. I'm not going to take a chance of judging her taste, pick a brand I know nothing about and try to guess what she would like. We've got an agreement that we pick our own presents and make our plans together. No surprises bullshit. Might be boring by social media standards, but it's the best I can do.
I don't understand this insane fixation that society has with gifts being "surprises", I find to so annoying, sometimes it even ends up being worse than not giving anything at all the gift is genuinely useless.
One particularly bad case in experience of a surprise gift for me, was when my mom decided to surprise me with a computer as gift, specially since this is a significal finnancial burden, one of which could have been partially relifed by letting me choose and pick parts, but even though we had an agreement to let me pick the parts she just decided randomly to buy a prebuilt instead without notifying me at all, when I was extremely angry at her for this and when I questioned her horrible decision, she said: "I just wanted you to have a happy surprise" and tried to make emotionally guilty trip me when I didn't show any thankfulness for the gift with: "Why don't you love me? I do everyrhing for you"
Why? do people assume that I want a surprise? why is this idea so ingrained into people's brain that when I ask to simply give tge money one would have spent instead in buying the gift, that is seen somehow as rude, what is so rude about trying make the most out of the money would've been spent into a worthless sock I didn't ask nor need?