this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2026
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I grew up in a really depressing environment with vandalism, crime and all sorts of bad stuff happening, due to post-neoliberal shock therapy. Which pushed me to subscribe to somethin akin to Legalism - People are selfish and we need a stronger state to keep us safe from each other.
As I grew up and learned more I figured that punishment in and of itself doesn't achieve healthy long term changes. I kept questioning things and eventually arrived back to Marx. (I've read children books about Lenin and also about Pavel Korchagin, but the world I grew up in was so miserable socialism seemed genuinely impossible, it read like a pipe dream.)
I don't currently use any labels, mostly because I've been quite isolated to be honest. Which is understandable since I am not exactly socially adjusted and so most people are wary of me, find me uncomfortable to be around. If I had to self describe I would say: An aspirant trying to make the best interpretation of the world I live in and it's history, how to use that information to change it for the better. Dialectical-materialism has been immeasurably practical in keeping my hope's up, because it let's me realize how people's disregard and indifferent towards me is actually a keen asset, putting myself in a position where I am able to do things an admirable person who's loved can't.
At the same time I recognize that this really isn't socialism it's more like self-sacrificial egalitarianism, with the hope that people in the future might see socialism as a feasible option.