ADHD

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A casual community for people with ADHD

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Relevant Lemmy communities:

Neurodivergent Life Hacks

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What to do when you are sure you family member is both Autistic and has ADHD but they refuse to accept or see a professional help for it (programming.dev)

submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by cactus_head@programming.dev to c/adhd@lemmy.world

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So my little sister displays clear signs of both Autistic and ADHD but refuse to look into it. She a teen-ish. Everyone suspects she is autistic, both my parents and my other sister but if were to use intensive language here a bit, I would say she is very childish for someone going to high school. There are other reasons that makes me think she is autistic(and has adhd)

Just yesterday she mentioned she finds skin texture disgusting, and has to focus on other features in a person's face and so gets distracted easily. She refuses to wear wet bathroom saddles. She is extremely touchy and clingy to both my mom and sister. She is stubborn as a well, always thinking she is in the right. She talks more like more like someone who learned to talk from just watching cartoons rather than other people. I could go on.

I admit, its probably my fault. I was more just pushy. I treated badly, telling her our father agrees with me and his word is law. I realise that doesn't she want the stigma, that I am basically insuring she never wants to look into it. Its not a disease or cancer, the excuse of tough love is not applicable here.

I will just have to drop it, but it hurts me that she has resources that I didn't have access to when I was her age.

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[–] greatwhitebuffalo41@slrpnk.net 29 points 3 days ago

It's her life and her choice. My brother didn't want to hear it for years. He went to a psychiatrist 2 years ago for something unrelated and got diagnosed. He had to do it on his own for his own reasons.

You can't force people to do things. I understand you're trying to help and you think you're helping but from someone who did the same thing, you're not. You're pushing her to actively avoid it.

How to you present your autism to her? Is it just the things you struggle with? Is it just how you're different? Is it just negative? How about what you tell her you see in her? Are you only pointing out the negative traits like you are in your post? Or are you also pointing out the things that can make autism alright? "Hey sis, really cool drawing you did. I noticed art seems to be a special interest for you. I'm reallyv happy you have a hobby you enjoy so much!"

Now also ask yourself, why? Why does this matter so much to you? Why are you so upset she won't admit it? Is it really about her? Or is it about you? (I don't know the answer here, that's yours to think about)