ADHD

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A casual community for people with ADHD

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Relevant Lemmy communities:

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What to do when you are sure you family member is both Autistic and has ADHD but they refuse to accept or see a professional help for it (programming.dev)

submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by cactus_head@programming.dev to c/adhd@lemmy.world

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So my little sister displays clear signs of both Autistic and ADHD but refuse to look into it. She a teen-ish. Everyone suspects she is autistic, both my parents and my other sister but if were to use intensive language here a bit, I would say she is very childish for someone going to high school. There are other reasons that makes me think she is autistic(and has adhd)

Just yesterday she mentioned she finds skin texture disgusting, and has to focus on other features in a person's face and so gets distracted easily. She refuses to wear wet bathroom saddles. She is extremely touchy and clingy to both my mom and sister. She is stubborn as a well, always thinking she is in the right. She talks more like more like someone who learned to talk from just watching cartoons rather than other people. I could go on.

I admit, its probably my fault. I was more just pushy. I treated badly, telling her our father agrees with me and his word is law. I realise that doesn't she want the stigma, that I am basically insuring she never wants to look into it. Its not a disease or cancer, the excuse of tough love is not applicable here.

I will just have to drop it, but it hurts me that she has resources that I didn't have access to when I was her age.

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[–] WhoIzDisIz@lemmy.today 6 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

You need to tell her that - admit you handled it poorly, & you're sorry, but it's because you want the best outcome for her. Regain some trust.

Then point out how so many people suspect it already, and that getting treatment for it will help hide the issue so she won't have the stigma from outsiders who don't care so much about her giving her grief. Nobody has to know except the family who already knows. Anybody else can be told her mannerisms before getting treatment were "just a phase" that she's now "grown out of."

Basically, put yourself in her shoes, and try to come up with approaches more compatible with how she sees things. Make sure you convince her that you're thinking like her, understand where she's coming from, and truly want to help her, not control her. Help her deal with this in a way that ensures minimal potential embarrassment.