this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2026
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Feminism
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If you can’t trust your partner to not secretly request to deform your vagina, you probably shouldn’t be having a baby with them.
Obviously this is more nuanced, so maybe allow two people in the operating room. A partner and an advocate.
Oftentimes doctors do it without a request from the husband at all. Misogyny is intertwined with healthcare.
White men are often handed pain medicine prescription without asking. Women and people of color often can't get it if they beg.
Recently had my IUD replaced. The doctor looked me in the face and told me that they wouldn't be offering pain relief. But I could take some ibuprofen before coming in.
That is infuriating, especially having heard tales of incorrect insertion and women suffering for weeks before the doctor decided something may be amiss and deciding to correct it.
That was my experience, too. It was absolutely brutal. Luckily, I was able to have it removed when I was put under for my bisalp a few years later.
On the other hand, I recently talked to a (male) gyno about my cycle being totally fucked up. One of the options for management was a Mirena IUD, and he told me that if I decide on that route, they'll bring me into the OR and do it with proper pain management and sedation.
I wouldn't even joke about it and find the practice abhorrent even as a joke, but it was done to my wife (we believe) without prompting. No sex at all until cleared by the OB/GYN she saw regularly (not the doctor who did delivery or suturing) and after the first time I made her ask if anything was different and the OB/GYN told us the suturing appeared to have been done wrong because there was an overhang and scar tissue. Second episiotomy with the second child, different doctor at a different hospital, everything was fine after the healing, so it seems like we just got shit luck with the first one