Fediverse

You're probably looking for something like phpMyAdmin. A lot of hosting companies offer it (I had to log into my own to look up the name of the software). I would host in a European nation if you could (people love Hetzner; I haven't used any outside the USA). I believe that's a relatively save route to data sovereignty and I doubt they'd honor a court order from your country demanding records or access to your data, but you should research carefully and not trust some half-knowledgeable / half-ignorant guy on the internet (me) if you're putting yourself at risk.

I think people on Lemmy will be genuinely friendly about answering questions if you demonstrate that you've put in an honest effort to learn things on your own and don't ask people to basically do the thinking for you. Unix / Linux / network / server nerds like talking about this stuff and are happy to help each other learn so long as there's a sense of respecting other people's time by trying to do things on your own and only asking for expertise because you tried first but got stuck. That's been my experience, anyway, over the years (big old nerd right here).