this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2026
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Autism
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Just experienced sensory overload again because I had some important tests at school and the most minor sensory annoyances (eating with my parents and grandma and having to tolerate fridge, cutlery noises and some light conversation) sent me into a painful shutdown (which caused my mom and grandma to speak with (EDIT: well to, I couldn't really speak with them) me, which didn't make it better).
In the end, I just forced myself to eat the food and ran(well stumbled) off to my dad (who left early to watch sports) and was alone with him and just sat with him for some time. Not long after, I just left to lay in bed in a fetal position fully covered by a blanket for ~1-3 hours and occasionally listened to some random music in my downloads (with minimum brightness since everything else was too painful).
I'm still in an emotionally vulnerable condition and wouldn't feel safe going out alone(or doing anything else alone for that matter). I did drive a car and did some risky stuff, I shouldn't do (don't drive in a psychological condition like this, you could kill someone). (EDIT: also, my motor abilities are really limited in sensory overload(how did I even survive the drive))
So sensory overload is in my opinion the most painful thing about autism. Or vulnerability when in distress. Other than that, I like my autistic traits.