this post was submitted on 30 May 2026
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Off My Chest

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So today was meant to be the day was gonna invite a group of people to a small gathering at my house. I made a silly website that'd show all the info and i'd go around personally inviting them.

I think they just liked the idea of being invited more than the event itself. I had around 10 people explicitly tell to my face that they were coming.

Noone followed through.

I probably fucked up somewhere in the process but it hurts nonetheless; It was the first event I had organized for a group. I wanted to share my world with the people around me. I wanted to showcase my dogs and my garden.

At least i've learned something, I got to cook some meat for my family. But damn, this feels isolating.

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[–] Canadian_anarchist@lemmy.ca 6 points 6 days ago

I'm sorry that happened to you.

I hold a monthly b-grade movie night and have never had that experience, but attendance has varied. Sometimes only 2-3 people come, and other times we're cramming kitchen chairs between the couches. Most people will let me know if they cannot come, though. There have been people over the years that didn't come, didn't message, and I stopped inviting them. Those who do attend regularly are reliable, and tend to introduce friends with similar qualities.

If I may offer a friendly suggestion, just directly provide event information to your potential guests. Making people click on extra links reduces the likelihood they'll come. If something is important, make finding the information as straightforward as possible. I directly message each friend via their preferred platform a short message with the date, time, what to expect and what to bring (write it once, then copy and paste).

Also, timing of an invite is important. I find 1 week notice is good for most, and one friend needs 2 week notice so they can arrange their work schedule. Almost no one can make last minute invites work (day of or day before). For more context, all of my invitees are working adults with no children. You may need to adjust your timeline for what is suitable for your demographic.