this post was submitted on 14 May 2026
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[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 66 points 3 days ago (4 children)

I'd pay the 0.50 euro as soon a possible without a word.

Then never offer to drive to do anything with them again.

I've found that people who do this are either doing it as a joke and will let you know right away .... or they are dead serious and it's the kind of person you really want to avoid in every kind of way.

[–] iocase@lemmy.zip 40 points 3 days ago

I would have paid it and then charged him $1.50/km for the ride

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago

Eh. Yeah, but at least you know where you stand with them, and everything will be strictly business. If there's some business-like value to keeping the relationship, then just treat it like a business relationship, and see how it goes. I wouldn't bail on someone like this for that alone, but I wouldn't hang out with them as friends either.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 3 days ago

Yep, exactly.

If they can have a sense of humor about it, probably a decent, if cheeky, somewhat assholish, but maybe in an endearing / self-aware way, kind of person.

If they cannot?

Avoid avoid avoid avoid avoid.

They're an entitled manipulator, and have absolutely no respect for you.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Or maybe it's just cultural differences. TBH I'm not quite clear on how "Dutch" the guy in OP's story is or where this even takes place, but AFAIK this would be completely normal behavior among friends and acquaintances in the Netherlands. Keeping at it outside of NL does seem kinda autistic, though.

[–] trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world 34 points 3 days ago (2 children)

As a Dutch person , I have heard of behaviour like this before, but I wouldn't consider it normal. Most dutch people would consider this asshole behavior. If you offer something, either you name a price up front or you don't get anything for it.

[–] tyler@programming.dev 5 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Question for you (completely off topic from your conversation with the other person). How believable is this story without broodje hagelslag being served? I need to know how accurate my Dutch lessons are.

[–] zout@fedia.io 5 points 3 days ago

LOL, hagelslag is just something to put on your bread like peanut butter or cheese. Some like it, some don't, but I wouldn't offer a coworker breakfast if they were to pick me up for work.

On-topic; this story is the kind of thing you hear about, but never experience. It's something that could almost happen, but you'd have to be a cheap skate by Dutch standards to actually do this.

[–] trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Ik heb geen hagelslag in huis. Wel koffie. Ik zou een collega wel koffie aanbieden, maar geen Tikkie sturen.

[–] tyler@programming.dev 2 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] zout@fedia.io 3 points 2 days ago

Sowieso geen stroopwafel.

[–] trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Als ik ze heb bied ik ze wel aan, maar koekjes overleven in ons huis nooit heel lang

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Is asking for money for coffee in your home not considered assholish prima fascia in the Netherlands?

Here in the US within the bounds of the home food and drink that is offered is expected to be a gift, and if you charge for anything it's admission to a party or you pass a hat around for people to pay what they can. Typically though it's either basic hospitality for small things or you should give in kind (bring a dish or some alcohol to share) for parties.

[–] trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

It is. I'd be very weirded out of anyone wanted money for a drink at their house, but not as angry as when they would send a payment request afterward.