Trans Joy

I didnt know who to share this with so Im posting here because my hapiness is going through the roof!

I fell into a burn out/exhaustion/depression spiral last year. About 2 months ago I felt decently back on track after alot of help from a therapist. During this time Ive met some online friends who has had an enormous impact on my life and I love them so much for it.

After talking with them and my therapist I finally decided to come out as trans to my partner. They took the best way I couldve imagined and are super supportive and helpful, and so are all of my friends.

The day after coming out i decided to shave off my beard of 10 years. Unsure what was hiding beneath I prepared for the worst as Ive never liked my face or body (repressed dysphoria maybe, who knows). After I shaved and I let out my hair again (long, lucky, juicy hair haver) I for the first time saw that my face was never meant to masc, but holy fuck it was meant to be fem. All of my friends where so nice and I was just in shock at how everyone indivdually agreed that alone would count as passing ❤️😭

Fast-forward to today, my partner helped me pick out and order more feminine clothes some days ago and they got delayed. I was pretty bummed out because a weekend home alone is a rarity for me and would be a perfect opportunity for me to try things in my own pace. As a cope I stole one of my partners sweaters, nice and cozy, dark blue with puffier arms and a high cut neck.

I decided to shower and shave again (i pray for all my girlies bc i was in for a shock with how fast it grows) but only managed to shower before I had to head out and get food. Once I eventually got to shaving my hair was still damp. So I go about shaving and let down my hair. The absolute curls along with everything else just looked so good. For the first time in my life I could tell myself that I looked so goddamn pretty. I immediately had to hook up my webcam and join in the vc again. BECAUSE I FELT PRETTY! I CANT GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD! I got so showered in compliments I didnt know what to do. Fuck I love my friends so much ❤️

This really cemented every doubt in my head. So much of my worry about whether I really am trans or not just gone. I had a face-to-face with myself in the mirror just telling whoever that woman was how beautiful she is, until I eventually realized THATS ME and started actually calling myself beautiful instead.

TL;DR:

My cat must be thinking im going crazy.