this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2026
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Look, once I was at the mall grabbing food at the food court while my wife grabbed a table with our two kids. As I was heading to the table a crowd of people started running toward the food court screaming that there was a shooter (this was not too long after Parkland, which happened to be kind of close to the mall I was at). Huge mass of people diving under tables and all that. And I legit had the thought "what do I do with this Chick-fil-A? Do I drop it? Do I hide with it?" I mean it was expensive. And we're still hungry...
Anyway, I got to the table where my wife had the kids underneath and by then everything was quiet and I guess someone dropped something at a store, people were jumpy and thought it was a gun shot and the whole thing spiraled from there. Once everyone realized that there was no shooter, we all just... sat down and ate. It was weird. The USA is weird.
Hooray freedom!