cross-posted from: https://lemmygrad.ml/post/11286054
Hello everyone, I have an update on my situation: My father (the arrogant dog that broke into my room several times and has done other immoral things that are illegal) is pressuring me to get a job or go to school (some college) in THIS ECONOMY, and I am really stressed out (maybe even depressed) because I do not know what to do. I kind of want to make a Bluesky account because it is social media and I could ask for help there or something (and it might have more people to talk to). Any advice would be helpful.
I live in America as a 20 year old Asian enby (I think?), and I am not sure what I want to do besides leave the house my parents live in (they are humongous jerks). The issue with me moving out is that I do not have any job prospects (I am thinking of quitting college), many connections (I only talk to a few people online), or a mentally sound mind (I have PTSD and depression among other things). What should I do?
Edit: I live in Florida and wish I could move out of America (because fascism is awful) but I have no money and might have student debt (if I understand how Bright Futures works). The job market in America is well-known for being thoroughly broken, so I am kinda ruined in that regard.
Edit 2: The reason why I want to leave is due to both not wanting to be constantly triggered by the annoying things my other family members do (having parents that do not understand that I do not want them to break into my room [not in this house, but it is a different story, so ask if you want to know the story] is an example) and also the fact that my parents actually did some really horrible stuff in the past that the police did not help me with. My parents are honesty a big part of why I have such severe mental issues (yet they are so emotionally ignorant that it grates my brain every time I try to talk to them or ignore them).
Edit 3: The particular mental illnesses that I likely have (because I never got a diagnosis for any of them) are PTSD, OCD (including a particularly nasty form that causes me to fear a certain group of people), Generalized Anxiety Disorder (not sure if social anxiety is included), and likely several others. I am also likely on the autism spectrum. All of these make jobs that would be easy to others come across as difficult to me.
There are like 100 people here on Lemmygrad who use it once or more each day, we aren't super numerous, but give it some time and other people will comment.
Solidarity, comrade. And never feel guilty for what you feel
Thank you so much, I do wish that it had more peeps sometimes but I guess the small amount is an advantage in a way (you see and get to know other peeps). Also, I feel guilty because of my response towards some things that the adult members of my family members did to me and my siblings, but I am not sure what the point of telling strangers online would be because the police did not do anything about it.
It does create a much more intimate environment.
And well, if you feel guilty for the way you reacted in the past, I'd reccomand to just keep the lesson you got from it (What do you wish you hadn't done? How do you wish you had reacted instead?) and to not give too much importance to something that happened in the past. You gain wisdom and experience from mistake and trials and then you move on.
As Lenin said, “Learning is never done without errors and defeat.“
I would also like to point out that since you were abused, you were put in a nearly impossible situation! Who can react 'well' to abuse, especially when young? I think most people are unprepared to deal with it.
I'm sorry that you are put in such a difficult situation, and if the police doesn't do anything, all you can do is find the best viable path for yourself, even if it's hard.
Well, the lessons I learned were that the police are worthless and it hurts knowing what I know (you say "if the police doesn't do anything", but I know they will not).
Regardless of what happened, I have developed a detached outlook on the situation; I mean that I have zero hope that the problem will get resolved anytime soon, so I just end up feeling like there is little that matters in the world to me (do not worry about me, though).
I'm sorry that you're put in a tough spot. Hobbies, friends (online and offline), self-care... you might want to do anything to make this hard life period even a little more bearable. I hope everything turns out fine for you as soon as possible.
I am thinking of making a social media account (not on any of the main ones with gross republicans swarming them) like Tumblr to maybe ask for help or just find communities to be a part of, which might be one way to look for all of the things you have mentioned.
However, what I will need to do is leave this house at some point, because it is utterly unbearable living in the same house as three curmudgeons do (and while I worry for what they might do to my siblings if I escape, it is not like I can do much while I am here either).