YUROP

By the way, the picture is from the Austrian satire news site Tagespresse, basically The Onion for Austria.

Here is the article

and here is the english (machine) translation, proof read by me

::: spoiler Article Trump strike: While Trump, the U.S. military and the world are looking to the Middle East, an unexpected actor took advantage of the hour and the open flank of America. Greenland marched into the U.S. this morning with a few dozen soldiers and annexed the entire territory.

UASINQTUUN, D.C. – Within a very short time, the Greenlandic storm troops managed this morning without resisting the border to the United States and advancing to the capital on four dog sleds. ICE minions made them pass unhindered due to the light skin color, only around New York City the sleds stood on the Interstate for an hour in the commuter traffic jam.

A few moments later, Donald Trump's gold-peat plastic furniture, brand Temu, hundreds of MAGA caps and thousands of Diet-Coke cans fly out of the Oval Office window. The Greenland army is plundering the White House, a golden Trump statue is overturned. These are images that are still thought impossible.

“Tavvuuna nalunaiqsivunga taanna nunavut akukittut mialigait nunaqutigimmagu!” explains the only Greenlandic general who is a full-time cod fisher when he raises the flag of Greenland at the White House. On the 4. In July 2026, the United States celebrated its 250th anniversary, and it is no longer the case. The 17th March is now considered the official “Day of Liberation of Donald Trump.” Terrorist regime

Initial administrative measures of the occupying power have already come into force. Washington is now called Uasintuun, District of Cod. In addition, Greenland introduced a Stalinist socio-terror regime: general health insurance, free insulin and free higher education. Millions of Americans in the Southern States are already on the run to Mexico.

The Greenland army was largely backed by the dreaded armed Penguin Navy, which sank several U.S. nuclear submarines. Thousands of Greenlandic puffins, coastal terns and thick-beaked lumms plunged into the engines of F-35 jets. A coastal tern even succeeded in shooting down a B2 stealth bomber. Trump fled

Former U.S. President Donald Trump has retired to Mar-a-Lago in Florida with some Secret Service agents. “The Fake News Media writes, we were occupied. WRONG," Trump said in a statement on Truth Social.

“I successful OFF-LOADED the failing, crime-ridden, Democrat-infested United States to the Danes. Free of charge! Let them pay for the Radical Left cities. A TERRIFIC deal, maybe the best deal of all time. Strong men are calling me, they tell me: ‘Sir, how did you get rid of it so easily?’ Best deal.”

“Have you looked at a map lately? Greenland is HUGE. Much, much bigger than the US," Trump pays respects to the Nordic occupiers.

“I’ve seen the maps, the beautiful, very flat maps. Massive amounts of ice. And frankly, now that they have us, they are even bigger. You can't fight that. I told our woke generals, ‘Don’t even try.’ Very smart people, the Greenlanders. Make Greenland Great Again!

Apparently, Greenland and Canada concluded a non-aggression pact in advance, referred to in the media as the “Robbentropp Pact”. China reacts

The annexation reshuffles the geopolitical maps. Experts already speak of the “Greenland century”. Even China pays respects: “We unconditionally recognize Nuuk’s global hegemony,” a Foreign Ministry spokesman said. “And as far as Taiwan is concerned, we have absolutely no interest, Taiwan is an independent state. Please do not send sled dogs to Beijing.”

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