Neurodivergence

Went to speak with my GP a number of months ago regarding my troubles with executive dysfunction, time management, and task completion, as well as impulsivity. They referred me to xyla for an ADHD assessment

Went through the assessment process, awaited results

Went to speak to a different GP who has more specialised focus on mental health issues. Explained my issues to her without even alluding to ADHD and she immediately clocked me as being likely to be ADHD. Said basically all the troubles (extending beyond the ones I mentioned here, too) would be at least partly explained by ADHD and getting treated for such would help me. She said we'll wait for the diagnosis

Got the results back today and despite showing high significance on the pre-assessment and the actual assessment, my family informant did not. (I don't feel like any of my family has any idea what my childhood was like for me because whenever I talk about my experiences they tell me "oh I dont remember that, you were always xyz"). So, no ADHD diagnosis.

I just don't know what to do with myself. I'm just sitting here spiralling because as far as they can suggest, all my issues are just because I'm failing to apply myself or some shit. I'm just a failure, not neurodivergent.

I pushed back against their conclusion and they said I can go for a second opinion, but they didn't give me any like... Tools or resources. Like, okay if you don't think its ADHD and you just think I am just like this, what do I do about it. How do I get help. Help me. Please god fucking help me.