this post was submitted on 04 Mar 2026
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me_irl
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Yeah, mom was also a teen when she got pregnant, my bio dad isn't even listed on my birth certificate. She had a string of incredibly bad boyfriends and another baby before settling down with my stepdad, falling into the incredibly cult-y church he was in, and having one more baby. My youngest brother was always the favorite, because he's the only "legitimate" child out of us, and I was the oldest and only girl so a lot of parenting fell on me even when I was still in elementary school.
I think I got lucky with having my great-grandmother help raise me before the cult. Quite a lot of my personality mirrors hers, but she was a teen during the Great Depression, so I inherited some weirdly relevant worldviews there. These were further reinforced with living in a state that didn't believe in social safety nets like adequate food assistance, so I got roped into helping mom with finding edible food in the grocery store garbage, because I was small enough to fit into the dumpsters.
I don't know if it's PTSD, AvPD, or what, but I do have a hard time connecting with people who haven't been through similar trauma before. I find that too many people are insulated in a comfortable bubble and don't want to believe these things can happen, so I always feel like everybody thinks I'm a liar, and I just get so angry and stop talking to them.
I've been with my partner for the past 16 years tho, because they've got similar trauma and they understand.
I don't know if i can actually connect with people who have the same issues I have, although i know me and the other person would have to be locked in the same room so we can keep in touch - two people who don't call each other might get along, but it's not really a relationship isn't it lol
I also have two younger siblings, but our mother slowly got her act together over the years, so i took the brunt of the instability at home - i might have acted as a stabilizing factor for my siblings too, at least i hope i did. I know they both do a lot better than I do.
The culty stuff reads awful; weirdly enough i stumbled across this piece where lots of US troops got told by their superiors the war against Iran is so that Jesus can return (and they have the sick idea Trump is anointed) - this sounds very much like the same thing, or at least very adjacent.
I have the luck to live in central Europe, with a useful social safety net - i was declared unfit for work after i had a nervous breakdown because i couldn't withstand the stress of regular work. it's actually the way i get a little apartment for me if all works out... 36m² isn't large, but enough for me and my 2 cats, and i can afford it with my little pension. I just wanted to write that i do not know what would have happened if i lived in the US, but that's not true: reality is that i would be a crazy homeless person or dead.
It's good to read you have such a stable relationship and hope you are happy in it. Wish you all the best!