this post was submitted on 02 Mar 2026
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Off My Chest

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I hate myself right now, am I a bad person? I feel like one. (lemmy.eco.br)
submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) by blackwitch@lemmy.eco.br to c/goodoffmychest@lemmy.world
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So I’m only 15. While I hope my boyfriend is the one for me, I also doubt it. I have had a girlfriend “Amy” since I was 12 but I am polyamorous and so is my boyfriend “Avery”. He is also dating some dude who I’ll call “Alex” since his name starts with the same letter as Avery’s and my girlfriend’s.

He said he’d love to call sometime and I’m sure he loves us equally, but he calls Alex for hours a day, for like 5-12 hours, and barely acknowledges my texts, he just reads them. In fact, he asked me to hang out with him but that was because he was bored that Alex wouldn’t be coming over.

Idk what to do. I feel wrongfully a bit sad and like I’m the bad guy.

They sleep on calls all the time too at night and I’m trying not to care but I’m sad because he spends more time with Alex than me. I wanna sleep over at his house sometime and do all the stuff they do but he can’t because he’s always busy with Alex. Maybe I’d be liked more if I was a boy…

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[–] blackwitch@lemmy.eco.br 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Thank you so much :) I will talk to him about this, I’ve been trying to get him to let me spend time with him

[–] RaoulDuke85@piefed.social 2 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Be careful. He'll listen to your demands to keep you there longer. It's a power trip. But we all have to learn on our own. Best to you.

[–] blackwitch@lemmy.eco.br 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Also I told him I wanted to spend time with him and asked if I could and he said “Sure, if I’m not with Alex”

[–] RaoulDuke85@piefed.social 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Ouch. Putting your needs last.

[–] blackwitch@lemmy.eco.br 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Is he selfish a bit or is it me being sensitive?

[–] RaoulDuke85@piefed.social 1 points 3 days ago (3 children)

He's being selfish. You shouldn't have to feel bad for the bare minimum of a romantic relationship. Your needs are valid. You're still 50% of the relationship between you and him. He shouldn't dictate.

[–] blackwitch@lemmy.eco.br 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

And nvm he’s paying me more attention I think it’s because Alex is a new partner and wants him to feel included :) I overreacted 😓

Edit: He said he’d call if his boyfriend wasn’t available but only then

[–] IHatePepRallies@discuss.online 3 points 3 days ago

Ow indeed. Red flag much? 🚩

[–] may_be@thelemmy.club 3 points 3 days ago

Be careful girl!!!

[–] RaoulDuke85@piefed.social 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

He sounds very toxic. Doesn't respect you or your feelings. Best bet is to walk away.

[–] blackwitch@lemmy.eco.br 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Yeahhh, tysm

[–] RaoulDuke85@piefed.social 2 points 3 days ago

Hopefully you find someone else that will give you what you want and respects you

[–] blackwitch@lemmy.eco.br 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I feel like he only spent time with me because his boyfriend Alex wasn’t there. Like he cancelled plans to spend time with Alex from what I recall and once he couldn’t hang out, i was his second choice

[–] RaoulDuke85@piefed.social 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

You shouldn't be a second choice in any relationship.

[–] blackwitch@lemmy.eco.br 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Yeah… thank you :)

I will talk to him and see if we can schedule a hang out time

[–] blackwitch@lemmy.eco.br 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Thank you. I feel like he is only physically not romantically attracted to girls because he always likes a man besides me and prefers to talk to him