this post was submitted on 21 Feb 2026
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Thank you for your kind words. My daughters were both denied justice like so many women. This is pretty normal as only a small fraction of rapes are ever successfully prosecuted. I was always hyper-vigilant with them, but you can't always be there to protect everyone every moment.
It is not just my daughters though. My wife, my mother, and every women I have had the privilege to talk to about this topic has been sexually assaulted. Often time multiple times throughout their life.
I have worked in CPS and some of the things I have experienced would shake normal people to their core and send them running away. I have been a care coordinator for elders and the stories they tell are equally hair raising. I have worked hand in hand with women shelters and I have seen abuse in the worst ways imaginable.
I totally agree in your situation that you can prefer humanism over feminism without being a chud. Not so much for people who have never bothered to read about either of them.
I will once again point out that they are not the same. Humanism talks in generalities about issues. Feminism explains how and why which is very different than humanism. Humanism does not encompass feminism rather they are distinctly different. Until you recognize this I think you will continue to flounder when discussing your preferences in regards to these two topics.
Feminism has a lot of good criticism out there, but equally humanism does as well. Both have been characterized of relying on western-centric values and being used as a tool instead of a solution to existing power dynamics.
I understand you believe you have tried to engage in good faith. Do you really believe that group of abused women is representative of feminist scholars? I suppose this may be splitting hairs to some people, but not to people who understand these as complex topics that can never be represented by single or even groups of people.
I am probably going out on a limb that someone will be happy to cut, but the majority of people who claim to be feminists really have no foundation in understanding feminism. It is more about identity than a genuine belief/knowledge of the values of modern feminism. This may seem like a no true Scotsman fallacy, but the devil is always in the details.